The Avoidant Reset Code is OPEN
A three-month program for men who are ready to stop repeating avoidant relationship patterns — whether they’re single or with a partner.
You’re tired of repeating the same relationship patterns?
You’re done with unintentionally pushing partners away?
With feeling engulfed or smothered by your partner?
Chronic low-grade loneliness resulting from "needing space"?
Suppressing needs until they turn into resentment or explode?
You want a secure, healthy relationship, where you feel connection AND at ease — but you don’t know how to get there?
The hard part isn’t wanting to change, though...
Most men who end up here have wanted things to be different for a long time. What’s been missing isn’t motivation — it’s understanding where their patterns come from, and a structured and proven way to work on changing them. That’s exactly what this program is.
Join the Avoidant Reset Code
By going through this program you will:
- Understand where your avoidance actually comes from — not just the symptoms
- Have effective strategies to deal with the root causes and develop secure attachment
- Have a clear approach for navigating difficult relationship situations instead of shutting down
- Have the know-how & emotional skills to handle your own feelings (and your partner’s)
- Create the conditions for your partner to actually feel close to you
- Be clear about where your relationship stands — and what it needs
...and by all of that:
Stop enduring your relationships — and start actually enjoying them
This work goes deeper than advice or learning new concepts. It’s about real change you can feel in your interactions with your partner and other people. For three months in ARC, you will:
- Participate in weekly live group sessions with Maika & Thomas focused on what you need to move forward
- Practice daily exercises to build new skills and more helpful behaviors in your relationships
- Get ongoing text-based support in the group chat from Maika & Thomas
- And perhaps most importantly: be part of and engage with a community of men who take this work as seriously as you do
Who ARC is for
ARC is exclusively for men, and specifically tailored for men with avoidant attachment tendencies, whether they’re in a relationship or currently single.
Men who worked with us
From June to August ’26, ARC had its first run with a group of founding members. Many of them achieved remarkable results from their work during the program. Listen to Craig’s story:
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Here are some more voices from other men who went through the ARC program this year:
Your program instructors
We (Thomas and Maika) are psychologists with work experience both in the field of clinical psychology and as consultants in organizational settings. We’ve helped hundreds of clients get to the next step in their personal growth. We live in Berlin, Germany. You can read more about us and our qualifications individually on our websites: www.thomassteinborn.com and www.maikasteinborn.com
In the past few years, we’ve noticed a bias online when it comes to attachment and relationship issues: a gap in support for people leaning towards an avoidant attachment style. We’ve made it our mission to close this gap and offer the help avoidants look for when searching for a solution to their problems. Feedback from many avoidant clients in 1:1 sessions — and now especially within ARC itself — convinced us that we’re onto something. We’d love to welcome you to our community of avoidant men working towards secure attachment.
Your investment
ARC isn’t a course, or something you just consume and forget. It's three months of guided, structured work — designed to change patterns that have shaped your relationships for a long time.
Avoidant patterns rarely shift on their own, or by only absorbing self-help content. The same dynamic tends to return — the next relationship reaching the same wall, or the current one quietly losing its ease. The cost of waiting isn’t dramatic, but it is another stretch of the same distance and tenseness in your relationships.
Three focused months are a small investment compared to years of the same pattern repeating.
Your one-time investment: €1,500 (payment plans available)
This is a real step. And we’ve got you.
We’re confident this program will help you. At the same time, if it doesn’t, you can get a full refund up until 60 days into the program. For the first 14 days, you can get the refund no-questions-asked. From day 15 to 60, we’ll request you to have a short live video call with us before getting refunded. We won’t try to talk you out of leaving — we’ll just want to hear from you personally why the program wasn’t working for you.
Program details
Start of the program
Enrollment is open right now until Sunday, November 8.
We limit the enrollment window to allow for the group to settle before new members join again and limit the frequency of change in the live sessions and community in general.
Format and timings
Two weekly sessions — a pre-recorded 'Discovery Session' and a live group coaching session with Maika and Thomas. The live sessions last one hour and are usually* held on Fridays, 7:00am L.A. time (10:00am New York / 4:00pm Madrid/Paris/Berlin).
*(between Nov 6 & Nov 22 live sessions take place on Sunday 8 Saturday 14 & Sunday 22 respectively, with slight changes to the timings, depending on your location)
Live sessions are recorded and available to members. Other core elements of the program are the moderated community chat, worksheets, recorded guided audio exercises and reference materials to support you through your process.
This is not therapy
ARC is a coaching and personal development program. It is not a form of therapy, counseling, or medical treatment, and is not a substitute for professional mental health support. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis or require clinical support, please seek help from a qualified professional. By enrolling, you acknowledge that you understand this distinction.
Why the group setting is what you want
For some avoidants, the idea of working through their patterns in a group sounds unappealing. That makes sense: avoidant attachment is a way of relating that relies on distance from others as the main strategy for feeling okay. That’s exactly why committing to a group program is already a first step toward overcoming your avoidance. The chance to interact with others is built into what makes the program work. Instead of just talking about relating in a securely attached way, you actually practice it within the program, and that's a far more effective way to learn. At the same time, how active you want to be in the group is entirely up to you. If you'd rather not share in the live sessions and prefer to listen and join the chat from time to time, that's a completely valid way to participate. We also have community rules around confidentiality and respect, so the tone among members stays kind and encouraging. Members who have gone through the program have described the group format as "eye-opening" and "courage-building." Many were pleasantly surprised by how helpful it was to learn alongside other avoidant men. Realizing you're not the only one struggling reduces shame in a powerful way, being accepted by the group is a healing experience in itself, and seeing others make progress is encouraging.
FAQs
Reflection sessions are our weekly live group coaching calls — a space to work through whatever comes up as you move through the program toward secure attachment. The calls last one hour and are currently scheduled for Fridays, 7:00am L.A. time (10:00am New York / 4:00pm Madrid/Paris/Berlin).
That's ok. All live sessions are recorded and made available to members, so you can watch anything you missed in your own time, and ask your questions in the group chat, where Maika and Thomas respond directly.
No. ARC is built just as much for the quieter situation — the man who functions well in most areas of life, but keeps noticing the same patterns in his relationships. You don't need things to feel urgent or acute. If you recognize avoidant patterns in your life and want to change them, that's enough.
After the three regular months of the program, you can continue on a €20/month membership, keeping access to everything. If you don't continue with the membership, you will lose access to the program after the three months have passed. You can download all the support material, including the slides etc. beforehand. The training videos are not downloadable, however. Our main reason for this policy is that we found life-time access heavily contributes to procrastination with this work, which we don’t want for you. We want to support you by setting a frame that elicits commitment and determination to starting right now. The membership is for those who need a bit more time, want to continue their work beyond the basic program, or want support in applying learnings beyond the initial three months.
Participating in the weekly live coaching sessions and going through pre-recorded training sessions takes about two hours a week in total. The time you need for the exercises and engaging with us and the group (e.g. in the chat) will of course vary from person to person and from week to week, but an additional 30-60 minutes a week should be enough for most people.
At the moment, we only offer this program for men with avoidant tendencies. Of course, women also have this attachment style. We built ARC specifically for men because in earlier programs, we found that broader groups weren't as effective. We've seen how powerful it is when a group comes together that has more in common (even when that unfortunately means we can't include everyone). We also saw that avoidant attachment often gets vilified online, and there's very little support for it, so we wanted to offer something for people with avoidant tendencies. The classic pursue-withdraw cycle most often has the man in the withdrawing role, and men tend to get the least support for working on it. That's why we decided to dedicate the group to men. At the same time, most of what we share in our YouTube videos also applies just as much to women with this attachment style, so we hope they're helpful to women on their journey toward more secure connection.
Yes. You can watch the recordings and ask your questions in the group chat, where Maika and Thomas respond directly.
For most men, ARC works well as a starting point. You don't need prior therapy to benefit from it. Many of our members come in having never worked with anyone on their attachment patterns. They've just noticed a pattern of withdrawal and avoidance, and they want to understand and do something about it. ARC is a coaching program, not therapy. It gives you a clear framework for understanding avoidant attachment, practical tools to work with what comes up, and a group of men working on the same thing. In the weekly reflection sessions, we work on real situations from members' lives, with the rest of the group present and contributing. If that sounds like something you can engage with, you're likely in the right place. ARC can also work alongside therapy. If you already have a therapist, the two often complement each other well. ARC gives you structure, language and practice, and therapy gives you space to go deeper into your personal history. There are some situations where we'd recommend getting individual professional support first, or at least alongside ARC: you're currently in an acute crisis you're dealing with severe depression, thoughts of suicide, or active addiction you're struggling with overwhelming trauma symptoms such as flashbacks, dissociation or panic that make daily life hard to manage That isn't because you wouldn't belong here. A group coaching program just can't give you the individual care and safety you deserve in those moments.
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